Time for a joke

The social club of The Greenhouse

Moderator: GH Moderators

cholztrad
Chris O'Sullivan
Posts: 934
Joined: July 23, 2006, 8:25 pm

Time for a joke

Post by cholztrad »

Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"

The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"

This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/

I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
Image
The Nickman
Mal Meninga
Posts: 51011
Joined: June 25, 2012, 9:53 am
Favourite Player: Hodgo
Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland

Re: Time for a joke

Post by The Nickman »

Get off the stage!
User avatar
greeneyed
Don Furner
Posts: 145095
Joined: January 7, 2005, 4:21 pm

Re: Time for a joke

Post by greeneyed »

We are Canberrans.

Not Canberrians.
Image
User avatar
pickles
Ruben Wiki
Posts: 5144
Joined: November 18, 2007, 2:04 pm
Location: Callala Bay

Re: Time for a joke

Post by pickles »

And there's GE demonstrating his well renowned sense of him our once again!
User avatar
-PJ-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24719
Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -PJ- »

cholztrad wrote:Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"

The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"

This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/

I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
Average at best...
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank :shock:
-GD-
Don Furner
Posts: 22877
Joined: February 10, 2007, 10:58 pm
Favourite Player: Mal Meninga, Terry Campese, Troy Thompson
Location: ACT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -GD- »

Was there a joke there somewhere?
User avatar
Schifty
Laurie Daley
Posts: 16467
Joined: March 14, 2010, 4:00 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Schifty »

Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.

Image
User avatar
-TW-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 35369
Joined: July 2, 2007, 11:41 am

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -TW- »

As opposed to holding it in your hand?
User avatar
Manbush
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24869
Joined: March 14, 2008, 6:55 pm
Favourite Player: Luke Turner

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manbush »

Schifty wrote:Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.

Image
Wonder how many people are attempting to use them differently.
I bow down to thee oh great Nickman, the wisest of the wise, your political adroitness is unsurpassed, your sagacity is unmatched, your wisdom shines through on this forum amongst us mere mortals as bright as your scalp under the light of a full moon, never shall I doubt your analytical prowess again. You are my hero, my lord, my savior, may you accept my offerings so you continue to bless us with your genius.
User avatar
reptar
Laurie Daley
Posts: 15755
Joined: January 25, 2005, 9:24 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson
Location: Brisbane

Re: Time for a joke

Post by reptar »

You certainly couldn't use it the way depicted. Chiko rolls don't look like that!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
User avatar
bonehead
Laurie Daley
Posts: 17436
Joined: March 1, 2005, 5:29 am
Location: Smelling The Shiraz

Re: Time for a joke

Post by bonehead »

Manbush wrote:
Schifty wrote:Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.

Image
Wonder how many people are attempting to use them differently.
Was on matty johns show monday night
Edrick The Entertainer
User avatar
Dr Zaius
Mal Meninga
Posts: 22869
Joined: April 15, 2007, 11:03 am
Location: Queensland somewhere

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Dr Zaius »

-PJ- wrote:
cholztrad wrote:Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"

The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"

This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/

I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
Average at best...
You know when a joke is prefaced with "if you don't laugh at this you're **** ****", the joke is going to be very ordinary.
User avatar
El_Capitano
Brett Mullins
Posts: 1842
Joined: May 30, 2014, 1:25 pm
Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
Location: Sydney

Time for a joke

Post by El_Capitano »

greeneyed wrote:We are Canberrans.

Not Canberrians.
Nup Canberrians sounds better! Change approved!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
How soon IS now?
User avatar
Manbush
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24869
Joined: March 14, 2008, 6:55 pm
Favourite Player: Luke Turner

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manbush »

Went out with a woman the other night who told me she wanted to be treated like a princess, so I put her in a Mercedes and drove her into a cement wall.


:arrow:
I bow down to thee oh great Nickman, the wisest of the wise, your political adroitness is unsurpassed, your sagacity is unmatched, your wisdom shines through on this forum amongst us mere mortals as bright as your scalp under the light of a full moon, never shall I doubt your analytical prowess again. You are my hero, my lord, my savior, may you accept my offerings so you continue to bless us with your genius.
User avatar
Manchild
Jason Croker
Posts: 4864
Joined: September 28, 2011, 11:29 am
Favourite Player: Past: Brad Clyde
Present: Shaun Fensom
Location: Darwin, NT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manchild »

Two peanuts walk down the street.

One was a salted.
User avatar
Archer
David Furner
Posts: 3723
Joined: September 3, 2012, 12:46 pm
Favourite Player: Boxhead

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Archer »

That's my go to Manchild, can't believe you got in first :(
User avatar
reptar
Laurie Daley
Posts: 15755
Joined: January 25, 2005, 9:24 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson
Location: Brisbane

Re: Time for a joke

Post by reptar »

My dog has no nose

How does he smell?

Terrible!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
User avatar
-PJ-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24719
Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -PJ- »

Does the MRC/Judiciary qualify for this thread ?
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank :shock:
The Nickman
Mal Meninga
Posts: 51011
Joined: June 25, 2012, 9:53 am
Favourite Player: Hodgo
Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland

Re: Time for a joke

Post by The Nickman »

reptar wrote:My dog has no nose

How does he smell?

He can't... he doesn't have a nose!!
Fixed
User avatar
Manchild
Jason Croker
Posts: 4864
Joined: September 28, 2011, 11:29 am
Favourite Player: Past: Brad Clyde
Present: Shaun Fensom
Location: Darwin, NT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manchild »

A man walks into a zoo....The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog........it's a ****.
User avatar
reptar
Laurie Daley
Posts: 15755
Joined: January 25, 2005, 9:24 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson
Location: Brisbane

Re: Time for a joke

Post by reptar »

Manchild wrote:A man walks into a zoo....The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog........it's a ****.

ge going overboard and swear filtering breeds of dogs?!? I can't say I abide by this anti-dog behaviour!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
User avatar
Manchild
Jason Croker
Posts: 4864
Joined: September 28, 2011, 11:29 am
Favourite Player: Past: Brad Clyde
Present: Shaun Fensom
Location: Darwin, NT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manchild »

****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
User avatar
reptar
Laurie Daley
Posts: 15755
Joined: January 25, 2005, 9:24 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson
Location: Brisbane

Re: Time for a joke

Post by reptar »

Haha. I liked the joke.
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
User avatar
Sid
Ricky Stuart
Posts: 9937
Joined: May 15, 2015, 8:47 pm
Favourite Player: Shannon Boyd
Location: Darwin, N.T.

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Sid »

That joke is better with the filter :lol:


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Would have won Boogs - 2016, 2017, 2018

1 part green, 1 part machine
The Nickman
Mal Meninga
Posts: 51011
Joined: June 25, 2012, 9:53 am
Favourite Player: Hodgo
Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland

Re: Time for a joke

Post by The Nickman »

Manchild wrote:****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
You wait... somehow this will be my fault.
User avatar
Manchild
Jason Croker
Posts: 4864
Joined: September 28, 2011, 11:29 am
Favourite Player: Past: Brad Clyde
Present: Shaun Fensom
Location: Darwin, NT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manchild »

The Nickman wrote:
Manchild wrote:****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
You wait... somehow this will be my fault.
I can't believe you edited my joke you jerk.
The Nickman
Mal Meninga
Posts: 51011
Joined: June 25, 2012, 9:53 am
Favourite Player: Hodgo
Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland

Re: Time for a joke

Post by The Nickman »

Hahaha the edit actually makes your joke seem quite offensive.
User avatar
reptar
Laurie Daley
Posts: 15755
Joined: January 25, 2005, 9:24 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Hodgson
Location: Brisbane

Re: Time for a joke

Post by reptar »

The Nickman wrote:Hahaha the edit actually makes your joke seem quite offensive.
It reminded me of Fawlty Towers.
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
User avatar
-PJ-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24719
Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -PJ- »

I walked past Hunter Stadium yesterday and was offered a 3yr contract...
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank :shock:
User avatar
Manchild
Jason Croker
Posts: 4864
Joined: September 28, 2011, 11:29 am
Favourite Player: Past: Brad Clyde
Present: Shaun Fensom
Location: Darwin, NT

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Manchild »

-PJ- wrote:I walked past Hunter Stadium yesterday and was offered a 3yr contract...
Sad thing is that probably isn't a joke.
User avatar
FuiFui BradBrad
Bradley Clyde
Posts: 8651
Joined: May 3, 2008, 10:23 pm
Favourite Player: Phil Graham
Location: Marsden Park

Re: Time for a joke

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

I heard a good one last night. What do you get when you cross Damien Keogh with John Hopoate?

Powderfinger
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

Nickman's love of NSW
  • NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
  • NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
User avatar
-PJ-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24719
Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -PJ- »

Donald Trump was in Sydney visiting a primary school. He was talking to a class of 6yr olds. They were having a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”.

One little boy stood up and offered: “ If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”

No, said Donald. “ that would be an accident”

A little girl raised her hand: “ if a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy”

“I’m afraid not,” explained Donald. “ Thats what we call a great loss”

The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Donald searched the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy ?”

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath. Johnny says: If the plane carrying you was shot down by friendly fire and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.

“Fantastic” exclaimed Donald. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy ?

“Well”, says Johnny. “ It has to be a tragedy because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and you can bet you’re sweet **** it wouldn’t be an accident either.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank :shock:
User avatar
Azza
Laurie Daley
Posts: 10526
Joined: February 16, 2005, 10:12 am

Re: Time for a joke

Post by Azza »

The sad thing is the Raiders are still a funnier joke than this thread.
User avatar
-PJ-
Mal Meninga
Posts: 24719
Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium

Re: Time for a joke

Post by -PJ- »

A reporter asked former Eels great Peter Sterling if his early 80s side would beat the current day Panthers or Storm.

“Absolutely” said Sterlo.
“ By how many points ?” asked the reporter.
“2 to 4” said Sterlo.
“ Why so few points ?” asked the reporter.
“Well, most of us are 70” said Sterlo.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank :shock:
User avatar
dubby
Don Furner
Posts: 33813
Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
Location: Albury

Re: Time for a joke

Post by dubby »



Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
Post Reply