Time for a joke
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- dubby
- Don Furner
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- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
I have a step ladder at home.
I never knew my real ladder
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I never knew my real ladder
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
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Re: Time for a joke
Yesterday was International Joke Day. Some pearlers I rolled out to celebrate
What do you call a group of men waiting in line at a Hairdresser?
A Barberqueue
How do you get Pikachu on a Bus?
You poke him on
Why did the lettuce cross the road?
Cos
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of a cave?
Camembert (Come on Bear)
What do you call a Tuna with a bow-tie?
Sofishticated
My wife threatened to leave me because I kept singing "Im a Believer" by the Monkees all day. I thought she was kidding at first, but then I saw her face...
My wife stopped talking to me because I wouldn't stop saying bird puns. I told her Toucan play at that game!
My wife's accused me of plagurising her jokes. Her words, not mine
What do you call a group of men waiting in line at a Hairdresser?
A Barberqueue
How do you get Pikachu on a Bus?
You poke him on
Why did the lettuce cross the road?
Cos
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of a cave?
Camembert (Come on Bear)
What do you call a Tuna with a bow-tie?
Sofishticated
My wife threatened to leave me because I kept singing "Im a Believer" by the Monkees all day. I thought she was kidding at first, but then I saw her face...
My wife stopped talking to me because I wouldn't stop saying bird puns. I told her Toucan play at that game!
My wife's accused me of plagurising her jokes. Her words, not mine
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
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- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Two prisoners sharing a cell-
Guy A- What are you in for ?
Guy B- Murdered 4 women, you ?
Guy A- My mask fell off in Aldi.
Guy A- What are you in for ?
Guy B- Murdered 4 women, you ?
Guy A- My mask fell off in Aldi.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
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- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
I ate wookie meat yday.
It was Chewy
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It was Chewy
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Good morning dubster, how’s it hanging ?
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
Good mate.
I'm still in bed.
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
I'm still in bed.
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Ha..
Best joke ever.
Best joke ever.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
-
- David Furner
- Posts: 3857
- Joined: May 31, 2015, 7:25 am
- Favourite Player: Dean Lance
Re: Time for a joke
Cracks me up every time.. love your work dubs
-
- David Furner
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- Joined: May 31, 2015, 7:25 am
- Favourite Player: Dean Lance
Re: Time for a joke
Knock knock
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Who’s there ?
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
Boeing want to develop an invisible jet.
Can't see that taking off
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Can't see that taking off
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
-
- David Furner
- Posts: 3857
- Joined: May 31, 2015, 7:25 am
- Favourite Player: Dean Lance
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
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- Location: Marsden Park
Re: Time for a joke
The guy who wrote the Hokey Pokey died last week. The funeral lasted 5 hours.
They had to put the left foot in, put the left foot out...
They had to put the left foot in, put the left foot out...
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
I have a fear of roundabouts.
But I think I've turned a corner
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
But I think I've turned a corner
Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
KPs mixed tape.
Gimme Gimme Gimme ( A man after midnight ).. ABBA
Back door man..The Doors
Man ( I feel like a woman)..Shania Twain
I want that man..Deborah Harry
Better man..Pearl Jam
I’m your man..Wham
Missionary man..Euryrthmics
Whatta man..Salt n Pepa
Gimme Gimme Gimme ( A man after midnight ).. ABBA
Back door man..The Doors
Man ( I feel like a woman)..Shania Twain
I want that man..Deborah Harry
Better man..Pearl Jam
I’m your man..Wham
Missionary man..Euryrthmics
Whatta man..Salt n Pepa
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband with a fly squatter.
Woman- What are you doing ?
Husband- What does it look like I’m doing ? I’m killing flies.
Woman- Had any luck ?
Husband- 5 confirmed dead so far, 3 males and 2 females.
Woman- How can you tell them apart ?
Husband- 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
Woman- What are you doing ?
Husband- What does it look like I’m doing ? I’m killing flies.
Woman- Had any luck ?
Husband- 5 confirmed dead so far, 3 males and 2 females.
Woman- How can you tell them apart ?
Husband- 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
Re: Time for a joke
The Canberra Raiders.
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- Mal Meninga
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- Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland
Re: Time for a joke
Ahahahahahahahaha that’s a good one, AzAzza wrote:The Canberra Raiders.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
My mother always said..” you’re not the dumbest walking this earth but let’s hope and prey that guy doesn’t die”
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 51011
- Joined: June 25, 2012, 9:53 am
- Favourite Player: Hodgo
- Location: Rockhampton, Central Queensland
Re: Time for a joke
Hahaha that took me a second, that’s good.-PJ- wrote:My mother always said..” you’re not the dumbest walking this earth but let’s hope and prey that guy doesn’t die”
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
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Re: Time for a joke
What do you call a group of men waiting in line at a hairdresser?
A barberqueue
A barberqueue
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
- gangrenous
- Laurie Daley
- Posts: 16586
- Joined: May 12, 2007, 10:42 pm
Re: Time for a joke
What do you call a group of men waiting in line a kilometre away?
A far queue
A far queue
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Hey Fui, you rolled out this very same joke on this very page ^^^^^^^^^Fuifui Bradbrad wrote: ↑June 12, 2023, 8:10 pm What do you call a group of men waiting in line at a hairdresser?
A barberqueue
You need new material mate..
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
- Posts: 8651
- Joined: May 3, 2008, 10:23 pm
- Favourite Player: Phil Graham
- Location: Marsden Park
Time for a joke
Haha so I did!
All this time, it’s still a classic.
Ok how about this one. Swedish Navy are looking to add barcodes to the side of their ships.
They find it more efficient to scan da navy in.
All this time, it’s still a classic.
Ok how about this one. Swedish Navy are looking to add barcodes to the side of their ships.
They find it more efficient to scan da navy in.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
- gangrenous
- Laurie Daley
- Posts: 16586
- Joined: May 12, 2007, 10:42 pm
Time for a joke
Since we’re recycling our queue jokes. Here’s one from 2018:
gangrenous wrote:
Haikus with Gangers: Bonus Things That Sound Like Haikus
Now we all know T_R has something against my Haikus. Some say it’s because he’s learned, well versed in Japanese culture, and recognises a kireji when he sees one.
But gangers thinks maybe he’s just getting mixed up with things that sound similar. So being the helpful guy I am, I’ve compiled a list of things that T_R might be confusing my poetry for. Is it one of these T_R?
Centrelink line - High Queue
Intelligence - High IQ
Start walking signal - Hike cue
Walking command - Hike you
Hello Militia - Hi Coup
Borrow pool table - Hire Cue
4 dimensional figure - Hypercube
Tanner - Hide curer
It’s good to be in Melbourne - Hi Kew
Close eyes and count to 10 - Hide cue
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
- Posts: 8651
- Joined: May 3, 2008, 10:23 pm
- Favourite Player: Phil Graham
- Location: Marsden Park
Re: Time for a joke
Bono and The Edge walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Oh, not you two again!"
The bartender says "Oh, not you two again!"
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
Re: Time for a joke
3 guys are sitting around a table thinking of ways they can get into the guinness book of world records
The first guy says "You know what, im actually really fast. I might be the fastest guy in the world"
So he goes out outside, times his 100m and sends it off to the guinness book of world records.
The second guy says "Im really tall, i might be the tallest man in the world"
So he goes and gets a tape measure, measures himself up takes some photos and sends it off to guinness book of world records
The third guy says "i have a really small ****. In fact i might have the smallest **** in the world!"
So he too gets the tape measure, measures himself up, takes a photo and sends it off to the guinness book of world records
3 weeks later they all get their letters back
First guy opens his letter and errupts in cheers "I cant beleive it, im the fastest guy in the world! Im in the record books"
Second guy opens his letter and yell "im in too! I am officially the tallest man in the world!"
The third guy opens his letter up and reads it, he's so angry he scrunches his letter up and say "Who the hell is Fuifui Bradbrad?!?"
The first guy says "You know what, im actually really fast. I might be the fastest guy in the world"
So he goes out outside, times his 100m and sends it off to the guinness book of world records.
The second guy says "Im really tall, i might be the tallest man in the world"
So he goes and gets a tape measure, measures himself up takes some photos and sends it off to guinness book of world records
The third guy says "i have a really small ****. In fact i might have the smallest **** in the world!"
So he too gets the tape measure, measures himself up, takes a photo and sends it off to the guinness book of world records
3 weeks later they all get their letters back
First guy opens his letter and errupts in cheers "I cant beleive it, im the fastest guy in the world! Im in the record books"
Second guy opens his letter and yell "im in too! I am officially the tallest man in the world!"
The third guy opens his letter up and reads it, he's so angry he scrunches his letter up and say "Who the hell is Fuifui Bradbrad?!?"
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
- FuiFui BradBrad
- Bradley Clyde
- Posts: 8651
- Joined: May 3, 2008, 10:23 pm
- Favourite Player: Phil Graham
- Location: Marsden Park
Re: Time for a joke
Speechless. Cant even come up with a comeback because that was good lol
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
Nickman's love of NSW
Nickman's love of NSW
- NSW has done a superb job - 18/12/2020
- NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
Re: Time for a joke
Funniest part of that post is that you think what you write are haiku.gangrenous wrote:Since we’re recycling our queue jokes. Here’s one from 2018:
gangrenous wrote:
Haikus with Gangers: Bonus Things That Sound Like Haikus
Now we all know T_R has something against my Haikus. Some say it’s because he’s learned, well versed in Japanese culture, and recognises a kireji when he sees one.
But gangers thinks maybe he’s just getting mixed up with things that sound similar. So being the helpful guy I am, I’ve compiled a list of things that T_R might be confusing my poetry for. Is it one of these T_R?
Centrelink line - High Queue
Intelligence - High IQ
Start walking signal - Hike cue
Walking command - Hike you
Hello Militia - Hi Coup
Borrow pool table - Hire Cue
4 dimensional figure - Hypercube
Tanner - Hide curer
It’s good to be in Melbourne - Hi Kew
Close eyes and count to 10 - Hide cue
Sent from my SM-G998B using Tapatalk
Son, we live in a world that has forums, and those forums have to be guarded by Mods. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Nickman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Lucy, and you curse GE. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that GE’s moderation, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps threads on track and under the appropriately sized, highlighted green headings.
You want moderation because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that forum -- you need me on that forum. We use words like "stay on topic," "use the appropriate forum," "please delete." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very moderation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you get a green handle and edit a post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think about moderation.
- gangrenous
- Laurie Daley
- Posts: 16586
- Joined: May 12, 2007, 10:42 pm
Time for a joke
What was in the water last night? Brutality left and right.
Where’s the love?
Where’s the love?
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
- Posts: 24719
- Joined: May 8, 2010, 1:58 pm
- Favourite Player: Josh Papalii
- Location: 416.9 km from GIO Stadium
Re: Time for a joke
Far out Bot, thats gold !!!!Botman wrote: ↑August 3, 2023, 6:06 pm 3 guys are sitting around a table thinking of ways they can get into the guinness book of world records
The first guy says "You know what, im actually really fast. I might be the fastest guy in the world"
So he goes out outside, times his 100m and sends it off to the guinness book of world records.
The second guy says "Im really tall, i might be the tallest man in the world"
So he goes and gets a tape measure, measures himself up takes some photos and sends it off to guinness book of world records
The third guy says "i have a really small ****. In fact i might have the smallest **** in the world!"
So he too gets the tape measure, measures himself up, takes a photo and sends it off to the guinness book of world records
3 weeks later they all get their letters back
First guy opens his letter and errupts in cheers "I cant beleive it, im the fastest guy in the world! Im in the record books"
Second guy opens his letter and yell "im in too! I am officially the tallest man in the world!"
The third guy opens his letter up and reads it, he's so angry he scrunches his letter up and say "Who the hell is Fuifui Bradbrad?!?"
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
#emptythetank
#emptythetank
- dubby
- Don Furner
- Posts: 33813
- Joined: May 16, 2006, 12:14 pm
- Favourite Player: Mal Meninga
- Location: Albury
Re: Time for a joke
A guy goes to a library and asks the librarian if they have any books on turtles.
She said, sure. In hardback?
He said, yeah. And little heads.
She said, sure. In hardback?
He said, yeah. And little heads.
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
Re: Time for a joke
gangrenous wrote:What was in the water last night? Brutality left and right.
Where’s the love?
Sent from my SM-G998B using Tapatalk
Son, we live in a world that has forums, and those forums have to be guarded by Mods. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Nickman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Lucy, and you curse GE. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that GE’s moderation, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps threads on track and under the appropriately sized, highlighted green headings.
You want moderation because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that forum -- you need me on that forum. We use words like "stay on topic," "use the appropriate forum," "please delete." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very moderation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you get a green handle and edit a post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think about moderation.